


Fuck it, I love you

by washtheseghostsclean



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Song: California (Lana Del Rey), Song: Fuck it I love you (Lana Del Rey)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/washtheseghostsclean/pseuds/washtheseghostsclean
Summary: He’s probably not ready to settle down and fuck, Daniel wants that so much with him. Not with anyone else. Not with Jemma. Not with Heidi. Not with all the supermodels, they pin on him or the faceless hookups in between races. If he’s going to settle down it has to be Max.
Relationships: Charles Leclerc & Daniel Ricciardo, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 128





	Fuck it, I love you

**Author's Note:**

> I bet you all thought I only loved Taylor Swift? No, I have also a soft side for Lana and Fuck it I love you has been on repeat all fucking day. Also not my fault Dan loves the US so much and 90% of Lana's songs are about that country, ok? So now I have associated the two with each other. YeeHaw!
> 
> Songs to listen to while reading:  
> ~Fuck it, I love you  
> ~California  
> ~Venice Bitch

_It turns out California's more than just a state of mind_   
_I met you on the boulevard, wind through my hair, you blew my mind_   
_And if I wasn't so fucked up, I think I'd fuck you all the time_   
_Fuck it, I love you ~ Lana Del Ray_

* * *

Monaco will always remind him of Max. So Daniel tries to keep away from it as much as possible since he left Red Bull. It’s not like they had a label for whatever they had. Late nights behind closed doors and wasted afternoons do not warrant any kind of relationship. Plus, Max is young. He’s probably not ready to settle down and fuck, Daniel wants that so much with him. Not with anyone else. Not with Jemma. Not with Heidi. Not with all the supermodels, they pin on him or the faceless hookups in between races. If he’s going to settle down it has to be Max. There’s no other person Daniel would like to wake up next to every morning. 

But Max has made it very clear that he’s not interested in that. At least that’s what Daniel understood when they wrapped up the last Red Bull video as a team. His fingers had lingered on Max’s arm, whispering that he’d like to see him later. But Max had shot him an ice-cold look and made up an excuse. Daniel waited for his phone to ring every day since that moment. But it didn’t and the months rolled and the time passed and he had to start working with Renault. So that took his mind off of things and it was fine for a bit. However, you cannot get away from your problems or your feeling as Daniel sadly found out. The racing season started in March and he was thrown into having to interact with Max again. It’s very fucking hard to smile and laugh when the person holding your heart captive is right beside you. Daniel hates that everybody but Max loves him. They all fall over themselves to smile at him, a hug, a joke, anything he needs. But Max is always there cold and unyielding. He’s smiling for the cameras of course but the moment the flash is gone so is that smile. It’s not a real one, anyway. Daniel would know. 

So when he gets the first chance Daniel beats it out of Europe. They have two weeks off and he’s not needed in the factory. He contemplates going back home but his family will only have questions to which he does not have answers. Going back to Monaco is out of the question either. So he books a first-class ticket to Las Vegas. The US is always a place he’s felt at home and where better to go but the City of Sin. A bit of alcohol, a bit of gambling, and possibly a nameless hookup should allow him time to forget. It works for the first two days and then Daniel is tired again. He knows exactly what he needs, or more like who he needs but he also knows that it’s not possible. He doesn’t even think for a second before he replies to Charle’s Insta story. 

_‘Hey, let’s meet up!’_

Charles is only too happy to go out for drinks. It’s a nice surprise to have someone he knows around. Max hates Charles so he knows the Ferrari driver will never talk about Max either. They have dinner and then bar hop from one place to another until Daniel can feel himself flowing. He’s not completely drunk but the margaritas they had have helped him forget. If only for a few hours. Until Charles decides to put his foot where his mouth is and ask something he shouldn’t.

“You miss him, don’t you?” There’s no question in regards to who he’s referring to. For a male-dominated job, the paddock is full of gossip. Some things are discussed, some are not. Daniel’s personal life for example doesn’t, he’s made sure of that. However, bits and pieces find their way out. It’s not like Daniel and Max had been awfully careful after Max’s father was kicked out. He contemplates lying but there’s no reason. 

“Very much so.” He admits after taking another sip of his drink. “For fucking months.” Charles nods ordering them another round.

* * *

Daniel is not sure how he’s found his way to Charles’ room but fuck his head is pounding. The good thing about alcohol is that it helps you forget for a while. Only for everything to come back full force the next morning with a headache as a ‘you’re welcome’. He whines and rolls to his side, trying to open his eyes. 

“I wanted to get you to your hotel,” Charles is pushing a bottle of water and painkillers on his palm. “But it was too far away. I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Nah, mate.” Daniel does not even try to shake his head. His mouth feels like cotton and his clothes are sticking to his skin in a way he hates. “Thanks.” Charles simply laughs. 

“I mean,” Charles shrugs. “It’s not like I could let anything happen to you. The entire paddock would try to murder me.” Daniel smiles at the roll of the ‘r’ in the word murder. Well, he can name one person that would not give a flying fuck. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast.”

* * *

He takes a quick shower in Charles’ room to wash some of the hangovers away. Charles does not have anything that will fit him so he wears last night’s clothes again. Daniel lets Charles drag him to a small diner. To his credit, he does not ask Daniel anything about Max, even though Daniel can tell he’s dying to do so. 

“Out with it, Charles.” Daniel uses the English pronunciation of Charles’ name knowing full well how much it bothers him. 

“I just don’t get it.” Charles shakes his head. “You are laughter and sunshine and Max, well, he’s Max. He’s always moody and hates everyone and I just don’t get how you could fall for each other.” 

“First of all, we did not fall for each other,” Daniel is trying to keep the bitterness out of his words but it’s not working. “I fell for him, very fucking hard if you ask me. Which is also why I ran.” He takes a sip of his coffee, hoping it will ease some of the tension. “And second, opposites attract. Some things you cannot help.” 

Some things are destined to happen and ruin you.

* * *

He often thinks about what would have happened if he has stayed with Red Bull. It’s not that he was out of contract, the season was ending but Christian had not said anything. Which meant he sure Daniel was staying. But at some point, the whole thing had become too much. His DNFs, his feelings for Max, the fact that Helmut seemed to focus more on Max than split his time between the two drivers. Daniel might have had feeling for Max but he wasn’t prepared to let his career go to hell for them. 

It felt like the right move when Cyril came to him. The Renault Team Principal had promised Daniel what Christian could not. His devoted attention, and a few more millions than what Red Bull was paying but that was just a bonus. It felt anything but that right now though. He would give all his money and fame up if he could go back to sleeping next to Max. Daniel often wondered how Max’s anxiety was going. Was his father around more now that Daniel was not there? Did he manage to sleep for more than five hours every night? Did he eat proper food or junk he ordered? 

He sighs, shaking his head. He parted ways with Charles an hour ago, both needing to do their own thing. They agreed to meet again for dinner when they’re back in Europe. Daniel walks to his hotel even though it’s a bit to the far side from where he is. He needs the distraction though, it’s not like he has anything to do back to his hotel either. Daniel has another three days of this trip but he’s seriously thinking of cutting it short. He’s already torturing himself with thoughts about Max anyway. He might as well do it while sleeping on his bed.

* * *

Daniel expects a lot of things when he gets to back his hotel. A phone call from Michael because he hasn’t checked in for two days now. A voicemail from his mom because he hasn’t called in over a week. Lots of emails from Cyril because he should be reviewing strategies and Daniel isn’t really doing that. Instead, he finds a very irritated Max waiting for him in the lobby. 

“Can you believe that they would not let me up to your room?” He asks and Daniel wonders if he has crossed to another dimension while walking back here. “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t stayed in this hell hole before.” Daniel would hardly call the Bellagio a ‘hell hole’. The person in the reception is only too happy to let them up to his room as soon as Daniel explains that he had been expecting Max but forgot to let them know. Max is acting like nothing has changed like they haven’t spent nine months apart. 

“Not that I’m not happy to see you,” Daniel can hear the tremble in his voice. “But what are you doing here?” He asks as the elevator doors close, effectively locking the rest of the world out.

“Lando called me,” Max admits, his eyes have found something interesting on the wall opposite them. 

“Lando called you?” Daniel repeats still trying to connect the pieces which are not easy with a raging hangover. 

“Yes, Charles texted him.” Max adjust his small suitcase. It almost makes sense yet it’s not the explanation Daniel needs. He will not go into the fact that Charles has a big mouth and needs to know how to keep it shut either.

“I thought you hated Charles,” Daniel says instead. 

“I do.” Max nods. “But we all love you so,” The words are so nonchalantly as if they carry no weight. As if Daniel has not been wishing to hear them for years now. “Here I am.” The elevator doors choose this moment to open.

“It’s nice to know I’m loved by everyone.” Even Daniel himself can hear the bitterness in his own words. He doesn’t miss the hurt in Max’s eyes either as they get out. The short walk to his room is quiet which is never a good thing with them. Things have gone to shit every single time they have stopped talking. “Still have not heard the reason you’re here, though.” Max seems to think for a moment, his forehead creasing. “Don’t hurt yourself while you’re trying to find your words.” The familiar banter comes back easily before Daniel can stop it.

“I love you.” Max finally says and Daniel closes the hotel door a bit harder than he wanted.“I really do love you and I’ve been a fucking mess since the last time we spoke. I was terrified of what my feeling meant and a bit pissed that you left. So I took it out on you by ignoring you.” He takes a deep breath. “You never called either so I thought whatever I felt would go away. Then the season started again and my feelings didn’t go anywhere, if anything they have been driving everyone, myself included, up the fucking wall because I cannot seem to control them when I'm around you. Half of the mechanics in the garage need therapy by now. So Charles called Lando, and Lando called me and here I am.” Max shrugs and he looks so out of place. Daniel just wanted to pull him into this arms. 

“You love me?” Daniel asks and he cannot help the laugh that bubbles up from deep within his chest. 

“Fuck,” Max breaths running a hand over his face. “I just told you I fucking love you and you’re laughing. This was clearly a mistake and I should have never listened to those two idiots-“ Max trying to pass by to him to leave and Daniel grabs his arm just in time. There isn’t much resistance when Daniel spins him around and crashes their lips together. One of his hands is in Max’s short hair while the other is pulling him closer to Daniel’s body and Max just melts into him.

“I love you too.” Daniel breaths as they come up for air. His nose rubbing against Max’s. 

“That’s good to hear.” Max smiles. “Otherwise I would have traveled 14 hours over nothing and Ferrari would be one driver down.” Now they’re both laughing and it’s like nothing has changed. 

“Stay?” Daniel asks hopefully. 

“Always, dumbass.”

* * *

_Dream a little dream of me_   
_Turn this into something sweet_   
_Turn the radio on, dancing to a pop song_   
_Fuck it, I love you_   
_Fuck it, I love you_   
_I really do_


End file.
